Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

Grey Baloon [sic] put up a fake press release on his website for a Calexico "greatest hits album." Now, he claims that an editor at No Depression took it seriously. Sure they did Luke, now get over yourself.


The fake press release refers to Calexico's music as "Mexploitation." I've heard a few, not many, Latinos in town complain about "those white guys" playing Mexican music. First of all, what they do isn't really Mexican music, it is definitely soaked in border culture, but they are basically a folky rock band that borrows from Mexican (and Portuguese!) music. Guess what? This has been done for well over a generation, you can look back at musicians as diverse as Herb Alpert, Love and Johnny Cash to see it.

The other thing I find funny about this is that we want Anglos to listen to and appreciate Mexican music, don't we think that one will pick up a guitar and try to play it? Imitation is the...never mind.

Granted, Joey Burns and John Convertino did not grow up listening to Latino music. Maybe if they did, this attitude toward them would not exist. Burns was born in Canada, which makes him the anti-Chicano.


Admitedly, this is not a common attitude that I have encountered. And frankly, Luke "I Can't Spell Balloon" Knipe is the last guy that should see himself as the defender of the purity of Latino music. This is a guy that refered to a nationally recognized mariachi group as "Mexicans wearing costumes." Frankly, local Hispanic culture doesn't need him protecting it from "exploitation."


Besides, didn't the guy move away from here because we were all petty? Why the heck is he still writing about us then?


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I kinda figured I'd have a lot of "me" time, so I rented a Polish movie this weekend called With Fire and Sword (Ogniem i Mieczem). I've seen it before. A while back, for some crazy reason, some of my students actually wanted to watch it so I showed it to them. They actually enjoyed it.

The movie is in Polish, but has subtitiles. One of the other teachers told me, "Hey, it's okay, look, they are reading!"

A strange trick of linguistics happened then, but also happened the other day when I had the movie on. There is a line that the subtitles say is "It isn't far." My students insisted when they saw the subtitle that the character is clearly saying "No está lejos." Well, the character is saying "To nie jest daleko." Tom thought that it sounded like Spanish when he saw it the other day too.


The movie stars Izabella Scorupco, who many of you recognize from Goldeneye. I only mention that so I can put her picture up.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

For some reason, my neighbor put several large, empty glass jars on the curb late last night. I have no idea what this is about.


I went to the McDonald's near my work, at 6th Avenue and 29th Street. They ran out of beef. All they had was chicken and fish.

They had a sign up, but just in case that wasn't clear, they put a sign up on the menu that said "No Combos 1-4." So, someone orders a Big Mac. The clerk said something and pointed to the sign. He said, "But, I'm not ordering a combo..."

Don't they have special homes for people like that? You know, so they can get a little help.

Maybe his mom ate at McDonald's too much when she was pregnant.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Fox Soccer Channel and Major League Soccer produced two episodes of something called MLS Pictures this year. They were highlights of playoff games and the final done like those NFL Films highlight shows, complete with pretentious naration by Edward James Olmos.

Check out the MLS Cup edition of the show. I finally had a chance to see it and I'm in it! Check it out at 13:30. Yeah, you all laugh, but how many of you been on Fox Soccer Channel? That's what I thought.

Probably the only time I'll be on FSC, since Barcelona missed their chance to make me sweeper.


Of course, just like the naration in NFL Films, it contains lines that are beautifully overdone:

...their potent strike force of Pat Noonan, Clint Dempsey and league MVP Taylor Twellman have sliced up defenses like med school cadavers...

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Strange moment occurred during tonight's Fiesta Bowl Tournament Final between the University of Arizona and Western Kentucky. At one point, Chris Rodgers lost his shoe. One of the Hilltopper coaches picked up the shoe when the play moved to the other side of the court. To his credit, Rodgers was able to move pretty well with only one shoe.

A time out was called shortly afterward. Then the Hilltopper coach that picked up Rodger's shoe threw it at him. Not to him, but at him. At the time, the Hilltoppers were ahead.

The crowd booed. I don't know why no one called a technical. When I was with the Tucson Amigos, our coach got red carded in a game against the El Paso Patriots for a heck of a lot less.


One more strange moment: one Western Kentucky player attempted a three pointer, and the coach called a time out...just as the ball swished in. WKU was four points behind at the time. The coach messed that one up. The jerk deserved it.


Prairie Clayton will be happy to know that the Cheer Stix that she tried to throw away at the MLS Cup came in handy. When she, Mike and I went to the section early to put up the signs, she tried to throw all of the packets away. I rescued a couple of packets. The Midnight Riders hate the things because they have drums and other noise makers that are not as lame.

Anyhow, I used them at the game tonight. I think I was the only one in the crowd with a set. Only one was red, so the colors were not quite right. Much to my chagrin, they were red and black, the colors of DC Effin' United.

I have no idea if they are actually allowed at McKale.


Speaking of lame: is there any more lame chant in the history of organized sports than "Dee-Fense! Dee-Fense!"? Anyone shout "Off-Ense! Off-Ense!" when your team has the ball? Does any player say "Wow, I guess I'd better get over to that side of the court...thanks guys!"?

To make things even more lame, when the other team gets the ball, there is actually a recording played over the public address system that says "Dee-Fense! Dee-Fense!" Just in case we fans don't notice that the team wearing the other jersey is dribbling the ball.


I found out that my old supervisor at America Online, Lance Jones, is one of the Fiesta Bowl Committee. He is a really decent guy. Also, he was an extra in Tank Girl.

He's about my age and African-American. Which is nice, since it seems that the Fiesta Bowl Committee is nearly entirely white guys in their 50's and 60's.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Geez.

First, last week the Tucson Weekly gives one of it's annual "Get out of Town" awards to "Local Scenesters." There are plenty of things wrong with some of our local scenesters, but the article criticizes them for the one sort of behavior that I haven't witnessed. By the way, who do they think reads their paper?

Hands up everyone that thinks it's a bit weird for a writer with the Weekly to criticize anyone for being smug.


A while back I posted something about Luke Knipe, a local scenester wannabe. Um, how pathetic is it to be a scenester wannabe here in Tucson? Anyhow, Luke posted several entries on the Tucson Scene blog that poked fun at local scenesters under the name Grey Baloon (yes, he misspelled his own alias). Eventually, he had to stop posting after his employer, Hotel Congress, found out what he was doing, since some of his rants hit a bit too close to home. Also, it didn't help much that he had engaged in some bizarre behavior, including some alleged incidents of staking and harassment involving some local musicians.

He left town, came back, and started his own blog, tastelessly called (given his previous behavior) Stalking Neko. I was reluctant to post the name for a while. Oddly, an early version of Stalking Neko included a quote from me. Shortly after the new blog went up, Knipe moved back to Portland just to show the rest of us that he was cooler. He still continues to use his blog to bitch about the Tucson scene, which is odd considering that he thinks we are all petty and unimportant.

Anyhow, in response to Knipe's blog, there is now a site called Blanket Party for Luke. I know that a couple of us have jokingly used the phrase "blanket party" around some folks not happy with Knipe, but I seriously have no idea who put it up. No, it's not me. My site would have looked much better. Besides, I never actually met Knipe.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I attended the first game of the Fiesta Bowl Basketball Tournament last night. As we were reminded constantly, it is one of 50 community events held statewide associated with the Fiesta Bowl. Supposedly, they raise a bunch of money for scholarships. Everytime I hear that an athletic event is raising money for scholarships, it turns out that it is raising money for athletic scholarships. They want us to think that poor kids from Douglas will get the money, they don't want you to know that it goes pay for the NBA's farm team.

Oh, wait, they gave some scholarship money to the "Fiesta Bowl Queen" and her court. So, the money will go to the girls who date the athletes too.


Why am I so cynical?


Guy who sat in front of me for the second half wore a fraternity jacket and stank of stale cigarettes. Of course, he probably gets more dates than me because he is a total tool.


Every year, a board member of the Fiesta Bowl sings the national anthem at these games. These guys are always at the events wearing their yellowish jackets. I realize that they are volunteers, but they always mention their names at these games as if I had heard of them. They seem to be really nice to the kids that do the half time "spot shot" contest though.

I suppose that every year before the game, the Fiesta Bowl committee meets and sees which among their 160 members (I checked!) can sing, and that person gets to sing the national anthem. It always seems that people don't get the words quite right. Understandable, really, since the language is archaic. I think people these days are so used to songs that make no sense, that people don't pay attention to whether or not what they are singing makes sense.


Some common lyrical mistakes I've heard:

• "Through the perilless fight"


• "Through the perilous night"


• "At the twilights last streaming"


• "Or the ramparts we watched"


• "For the ramparts we watched"


• "Gave proof through the fight"


• "For the land of the free"


• "And the home of the Braves"

Before the game, I happened into Martin Bacal. Martin had been to the previous game that featured Western Kentucky and Central Florida. I made a crack about the teams, and he pointed out to me that they were once big powerhouses and had won several titles.

So, tell me, why does knowing the excruciating details of NCAA Basketball (where you have to know about hundreds of teams) make you a man's man, a real American, but I'm a pathetic geek that needs a life because I can name two teams from the Czech Premier League?


I wore a Poland jersey, because it was red. My mom and her friends gave me grief because they claimed it was orange, the color of Sam Houston State. The name of the polish team is Biało-czerwoni...white and RED. The shirt was red!


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Sam Levitz, a local business icon, died this weekend at the age of 91. Believe it or not, he is regarded as a pioneer in "direct-to-you-warehouse" marketing nationwide. Those of us that grew up in Tucson remember the ubiquitous ads featuring Sam and his wife, Lee. Other members of the Levitz family also have their own furniture chains in such far flung places as Denver and New Orleans.


Any word on whether Wally Sevitz is still alive?


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

About six or seven years ago, my friend Jonathan Burnworth and I sat down to watch a preliminary match in the UEFA Champions League. The match was between Manchester United and SK Sturm Graz, which was the top team in the Austria Bundesliga that season. The match was played in Graz, Austria.

The name of the stadium popped up on the screen: Arnold Schwarzenegger Stadion

The stadium is actually the home of Graz's other team, Grazer AK. Cousin Ahnohld even has a front row seat set aside for him there if he ever wants to watch his old home town team play.

Now, some local political leaders want his name removed from the stadium to protest his refusal to communte the death sentence of "Tookie" Williams. Believe it or not, sports fans in other parts of the world actually care about the politics of the names of their stadiums.



On a marginally related note: I love what is happening with Manchester United...makes me laugh every time I think about it.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Apparently, I missed Joey Burns's birthday.

Happy birthday, Joey. Bill O'Reilly sends his Season's Greetings too.


Today is the birthday of Arthur C. Clarke. Those of us who watched way too much PBS in our formative years know he is the author of 2001: A Space Odyssey and the inventor of the communications satelite.


I was going to find a woman to talk about, but Elizabeth thinks I'm a raging sexist, so I won't.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.