Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

I don't know how many of you have thought about this before, but our sinuses are really amazing.

I mean, think about it. Your nose gets all plugged up, you blow it all into a Kleenex. Then, within minutes, your nose is all full up again.

Something to ponder.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

If you asked me a month ago who would be competing in this year's MLS Cup, I would have told you it would be the New England Revolution versus either the Dallas Burn FC Dallas or the San José Clash Earthquakes.

Of course, I was wrong.

Both Dallas and San José were eliminated yesterday. I don't understand what happened to San José. They should have kicked ass, but they delivered a poor performance in the first leg, so had a two goal deficit to recover from. They couldn't do it.


Dallas was eliminated after they failed to take advantage of the ejection of Colorado Rapids player Alain Nkong. Despite being outmanned, Colorado managed to end the game with the score tied. Both goalkeepers put on heroic performances in the penalty shootout, but Tucson Amigos wash-out Scott Garlick slipped up allowing Terry Cooke to score. That was enough to give the Rapids the victory.


I put the San José Clash logo up not because of the San Jose loss, but because Eric Lybeck mentioned that he really liked the logo.

That logo was from 1996, the first year of MLS and the year of really really ugly uniforms. By the way, I have a New England jersey from that year. That seems to be one of the more presentable ones.

That year also featured the Kansas City Wiz, who one wag noted should have picked the slogan "Urine for some great soccer." They had, thankfully, the first name change in the league. Not for aestetic reasons, though. They were threatened with a lawsuit by the East coast appliance chain Nobody Beats the Wiz. I guess they didn't like Preki.


New England, as expected, defeated the Metrostars 3-1, which put them through to the Eastern conference finals. They will play either the dissention laden DC United or the underperforming Chicago Fire, depending on who wins today. I like the chances.

My roommate Todd Lybeck watched the game with me, but insisted he had to go. The game at that point was 2-1, so still tied on aggregate goals. New England had a flurry of shots that took weird bounces and hit the posts. I noticed that Todd hadn't actually left yet, he stood at the door, outside but had it cracked open so he could catch a wee bit more of the game.

Then, lanky former Dandy Town Hornets striker Khano Smith made an amazing run into the box and tipped it past MetroStars 'keeper Tony Meola (yes, he's STILL playing). Of course, being the Revs, this was done with a few minutes left in regulation. Todd was satisfied with that and left.

Smith then took a bad fall when trying to stop a Metro attack, and had to leave the game. The Revs were unable to make any substitution because they had used all three substitutions. Smith himself had come in after Marshall Leonard was injured early in the game. The Revs had to endure the final few minutes of regulation, plus eight minutes of stoppage time with only ten men on the field. They somehow managed, despite referee Brian Hall's stretching of the final few minutes. By the way, Hall missed a few real doozies, including some fouls that would have resulted in penalty kicks if they were caught.

Of course, it wouldn't be a Revolution victory unless it is close until the very end.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

I've always been curious about why there is so much Calexico on the local NPR station during breaks, and heck, there seems to be a lot of it on national programs like Morning Edition and This American Life.

Well, the music works for those purposes, and the band has a certain level of "hipness" nationally. But I was shocked to hear the River Roses song "Phoenix 99" on the local NPR station as a filler. I mean, yeah, we all loved the song way back in 1989 when they used to play it on KFOX (anyone remember them?), but only scenesters like me still remember it, proudly parading our hand colored 7 inch singles of the song. Who the heck could be behind putting such local obscurities on the air?

So, I was listening to Arizona Spotlight, a locally produced show that comes on Fridays at 9:30 AM on KUAZ. All, the music, all of it, was Calexico. Geez. I have all of their damn albums, what more do I need?

And by the way, despite the name, Arizona Spotlight featured an extended story about Turkey.

Then, I hear the credits for the program. Produced by Jim Blackwood, whose other title is "Casadecalexico Website Administrator and Calexico Archivist," a fellow 80's and 90's scenester.

Jim, let's get some Phantom Limbs in there! Maybe Yard Trauma!


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

George Takei revealed in a magazine interview that he is gay and has been in a relationship for 18 years.

Hopefully, this will put an end to the stream of poorly written semi-pornographic trekkie fan fiction about Lt. Sulu getting together with Lt. Uhura.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

George Best, the former Manchester United and Los Angeles Aztecs great, is "critically ill" in a London hospital.

A few years ago, Best got a liver transplant. He had to quit alchohol for 12 months just to be eligible, but started drinking again after the operation. This became a huge contraversey in Britain, given how many less famous non-drinkers needed transplants.

Best is one of the two greatest players that never played in a World Cup, the other being Liberian presidential candidate George Weah. This wasn't because of any lack of skill on his part; he played for Northern Ireland, which never qualified. He came up in the mid-1960's, when soccer players started becoming "stars" (some blame the Beatles for this.) He "retired" at age 26, then played in the United States.

Best famously said, "I spent all my money on birds, booze and fast cars, the rest I just squandered..." See, and look where it got you, Georgie? I don't have a fast car and I don't drink, as for the birds...yeah none of those either. Look how long I'll live...oh geez.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

In the latest issue of ESPN The Magazine, Houston Comets player Sheryl Swoopes has come out of the closet.

Yeah, a prominent female athlete turns out to be lesbian. Call me when you have something interesting to say.

Despite such open secrets, she is still only the third WNBA player to publicly state she is a lesbian. I think this is mostly because it is none of anyone's damn business.

There are probably more, I know of at least two women that played for the Wildcats that were out to anyone who gave a darn. The big question is whether or not this will finally lead any male athletes to come out. I wouldn't hold my breath for that one.


The Comets have a co-ed group of cheerleaders called Team NRG. Anyone have any possible revelations about them?


Marginally related note: I ran some pictures of Louise Post of Veruca Salt a couple of weeks back. I said that she was lesbian, now it turns out she had a fling with Dave Grohl. No fair switching teams, it confuses me. Between her and Corrin Tucker, I never know what is going on with the female post-punkers.


Hasta la Proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Last night was the first of the MLS playoff games, an Eastern Conference Semifinal matchup betwen DC United and the Chicago Fire.

Some of you may have read earlier this week about Freddy Adu's blowup with coach Piotr Nowak. Freddy was suspended for last night's game (which ended in a 0-0 tie when Chicago's lone goal was called back for no apparent reason). The reason for the suspenson was given as "Conduct detrimental to the team." DC United claimed that it was not because of his earlier rant about playing time. Rumor has it, however, that Nowak demanded an apology from Adu, and that he refused, that was the reason for the suspension.

Chris Snear of Cybersocernews seems to think this has more to do with angling to play for the MetroStars, but that seems unlikely. I think Adu is listening to too many of his new friends that he has acquired since his "stardom" (being a big soccer star is like being a big polka star). He needs to realize that he is not getting playing time yet because he needs to improve his game.

Ironically, Bruce Arena has been saying that he is eyeing Freddy for the national team. Remember that Adu said that Nowak's benching him ruined his chances to play for the US.

Obviously, Adu thinks he's too good now for the little MLS. I wonder how many chances he'll get on the national team if he's riding the bench at SE Heerenveen or CSKA Sophia. Give him a couple of more years of complaining, he'll be playing for the Mid Michigan Bucks. I bet he'd start every game for them.

Tonight will feature the other Eastern Conference match-up, New England Revolution versus the MetroStars. New England will, of course, kick ass.

Something mildly related but disturbing has occurred, however. An indoor pointy-ball team called the New York/New Jersey Revolution has been started. Bad enough that they are aping the logos of both the Patriots and the Revolution, but they take the name of a Boston sports team. A New York team aping a Boston team? Maybe they are still in a funk about the Yankees.

Never mind that New York City was a haven for loyalists. I guess the "Loyalists" is a poor name for a team.

Here's an irony for a gridiron football team: the player try-outs will be at a sports facility named for former US National team player Tab Ramos.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

I was sent the following links. They are probably not safe for most work, but they are entirely text.

They are also unbelieveably wrong, in that oh so right way.

one link --- the other link


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Yesterday, I recieved a big envelope from the Pima Community College District Central Office. I knew this had to do with my financial aid, so I eagerly opened it. In it was a letter detailing my "award," plus, a note that said I needed to fill out the enclosed forms. There was a lot of paperwork in there so, at first I was a bit intimidated.

The "forms" included two sheets to tell me all about the Stafford Loan, if I qualified (I don't), a shcedule for Pell Grant disbursements (didn't qualify for that), and a "Guide to Financial Aid." Burried in the guide was the form (singular) that I had to fill out.

I looked at the form and realized that I filled it out two weeks ago.

These guys are first against the wall when I lead my revolution.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Freddy Adu is complaining about his lack of playing time again. This time though, he's threatening to leave DC United.

Freddy believes that his lack of consistent starts is preventing him from being considered for next year's world cup. No Freddy, the thing that is making you not be considered for the national team is that you aren't ready yet. The immaturity demonstrated by these latest outbursts proves this.

The lack of consistent starts is not the only factor in national team coach Bruce Arena's mind. For example, Adu's DC United teammate Santino Quaranta only started 13 games this season, one less than Adu's 14. Despite this, Quaranta has regular appearances with the national team.

Adu's 14 games is out of a total of 25 games. He was only available for 25 games because he was playing with the under-21 national team. Given that he was playing international games, it is hard to say that he hasn't been given the chance to be seen by the people that run the senior national squad.

It is also worth pointing out, that despite his not starting, he played in every one of those 25 DC United games.

I admired Adu when he played his first games for DC United. Unfortunately, he read too many of his own press clippings and apparently thinks he's the second coming of Pele. It looks more like he's the next Paul Gascoigne.


Do zobaczena. Hasta la proxima.

Whenever I wanted to name an obscure Saturday Night Live alum, I would name Charles Rocket. Unlike, say, Danitra Vance or Melanie Hutsell, he barely lasted one season. He didn't go on to anything big like other short timers such as Amy Sedaris or Damon Wayans.

Rocket came on board in the ill-fated 1980 season, replacing the legendary Not Ready for Prime Time Players. The group he came in with was talented, but who wouldn't pale in comparison to John Belushi and Gilda Radner at their best? The cast included Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo and Gilbert Godfried.

Rocket was supposed to be the big star, taking the place as anchor of Weekend Update that propelled Chevy Chase to stardom. It was not to be. The writing that season was poor, there were constant disputes between the network and the new producer, even the guest hosts sucked (Charlene Tilton?). The season ended with an ongoing spoof of "Who Shot J.R.?" entitled "Who Shot C.R.?" At the end of the episode, Rocket came out looking wounded in a wheelchair. He said "I'd like to know who the f*** did it." This gave the network a good excuse to pull the plug, fire the entire cast except for Murphy and Piscopo, and for the rest of the season air re-runs of classic Saturday Night Live episodes and a Canadian show called SCTV.

Rocket was basically blackballed and didn't appear on TV for years. He showed up in the occasional movie though, playing Geena Davis's husband in Earth Girls are Easy and a role in Dumb and Dumber most prominently. He later had a regular role in the series Tequilla and Bonetti and also showed up on an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent, playing, as fate would have it, a suicidal criminal.

Rocket's body was found two weeks ago in Connecticut. His death has been ruled a suicide.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

John Leguizamo is apparently going to join the cast of ER this week. This means that either ER is going to get good, or Leguizamo now sucks. I don't know.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Check this out.

Kim Sin of Tucson Roller Derby sent out a release this week announcing the "Dust Devil National Championship" that will be held February 24-26. From the sounds of it, it looks like derby leagues around the country will be participating.

This is pretty amazing. TRD has only been in existence a little more than two and a half years, but they are already able to pull something like this off, where other leagues that have been around for a lot longer could never imagine doing this.

This is the first time that there has been any sort of true national tournament. It sounds as though the teams will be "travel" or "all star" teams from each league, rather than the actual league teams.


One of the 20 leagues that is participating is the Providence Roller Derby. Does this mean I get to meet Erin Gobraless?

Okay, she's Rhoda Perdition now, but hey, she ain't here to tell me any different.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

So, I got an e-mail the other day from Micah Wright, a guy I haven't heard from in years. I knew Micah at the U of A through his work with Comedy Corner. Micah told my brother once that I inadvertently inspired him to join the group when I was brought up on stage to do a sketch with them. Either, my fearlessness was inspiring to him, or he looked at me and said "geez, if that bozo can pull it off, anyone can..."

Micah has been in Los Angeles working on various animation and graphic novel projects. He did some work with DC Comics for a while, as well as Nickelodeon. Apparently, he lost his job with Nickelodeon after trying to unionize the place. In my twisted world, this qualifies him for sainthood.

He was always interested in propoganda posters, and has two books out of his new takes on them: You Back the Attack and We'll Bomb Who We Want and If You're Not a Terrorist Then Stop Asking Questions. Both books have earned praise from no less than Kurt Vonnegut and Howard Zinn.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Bosnia-Herzegovina is to play Serbia and Montenegro in a FIFA World Cup qualifier today.

Who was the sick bastard at UEFA who put them into the same group? Is he related to the Asian Confederation official who had Iraq and Iran face each other in qualification back in 2001?

This is the first time Bosnia-Herzegovina has played in Belgrade, although the Serbia and Montenegro side played in Sarajevo in the first leg of the qualifier. It ended in a 0-0 draw with plenty of heated words, two yellow cards, but no fan violence whatsoever.

Serbia and Montenegro needs a win or a tie to secure first place in their group and punch their ticket to Germany. Bosnia-Herzegovina needs a win just to have a chance to get in. Wow, no pressure there.


The qualifying group includes Spain, which is in second place behind Serbia and Montenegro, Belgium and basketball powerhouse Lithuania. Basketball prowess doesn't translate into decent soccer, unless you are Jay Heaps.

San Marino, yes, San Marino, rounds out the group. They have failed to win or tie a single one of their nine matches, and have scored a grand total of two goals. They lost one match to Spain by a whopping ten goals.


I saw Serbia and Montenegro play a match in 2001. They were still Yugoslavia then, and the stadium was still called Bank One Ballpark. Anyhow, they embarassed Mexico 2-0. Mexico was struggling in their qualifiers that year and later fired their coach.

I attended that game with Gabby Giffords. Not to drop names or anything.


I'm going to start my own international cup tournament featuring only teams with the word "and" in their names. Serbia and Montenegro, St Kitts and Nevis, Trinidad and Tobago and maybe we'll throw in Rushden and Diamonds for good measure.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Veruca Salt played at Hotel Congress last night (I missed the opening bands, more on that later). It was not the Veruca Salt that we know and love from the 1990's though. The band started as a collaboration between Nina Gordon and Louise Post. Gordon left the band in 1998, one of the problems when you have an extra-curricular relationship with your main band mate (ask Lindsey Buckingham about this one).

Post re-formed the band with an entirely new line-up (Original dummer Jim Shapiro was Gordon's brother), and kept recording and touring. She later released an album that seemed to be about her break-up with Gordon.

The only trouble is, even though Gordon and Post traded lead singing and song writing duties, Gordon was important to the sound of the group. Although Post wrote such fan favorites as "Straight" and "Victrola", their two biggest hits are not only written by Gordon, but they were about her relationship with Post. It seemed a bit silly to have Louise Post sing "The Seether is Louise" during the break in "Volcano Girls."

Anyway, why the heck should I complain? They rocked.

Also, Louise kept flirting with the guys in the front row. Damn, I hate it when cute lesbian gals do this. Oh wait, I don't. Afterward, she kissed the female fans. I think this was to make the guys jealous, I don't know.


Louise switched to a Flying V Guitar at one point. This was just in case anyone had any nostalgia for The Scorpions or Zebra.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.