Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

Some of you may know about this, but Malcolm Glazer, owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just bought Manchester United, probably the biggest sport "brand" in the world.

I think that the fact that I just refered to it as a "brand" indicates the problem. Glazer knows nothing about soccer (um, that other football...), and sees this entirely as a nice piece of marketing and revenue. American sports reporters have had a great time poking fun at those "British Soccer Hooligans" for being mad that an American is buying their biggest team. Of course, I could just imagine the hackles if, say, a British company bought the New York Yankees. Or even worse, if they were Chinese...

The fans staged a protest (I'm sure that Jim Rome and Tony Kornheiser will call it a "riot") when Glazer made his first visit to the stadium. As nuts as fans get here, in many countries, people feel a deep sense of ownership of their teams that we really lack here, except maybe in college football. One big reason is that for most teams, a run of the mill fan can still afford tickets. Also, fans there are organized, and often even own shares of the team. By the way, fan ownership became against the rules in many American leagues after the Green Bay Packers went in that direction.

There are two objections to Glazer's ownership, one is that he seems to want an American ownership model, where the fans have no voice except to buy tickets. The other is that this buyout was leveraged, and he may sell off top players or increase ticket prices to pay the debts. His aversion to publicity has also made it harder for the fans to get to know and trust him.

Contrast the reaction to Glazer to the reaction to Johnathan Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots that is planning on buying Man U.'s main rivals, Liverpool FC. Kraft already owns one soccer team, the New England Revolution, and has learned a wee bit about the culture associated with the sport. He has spent his time speaking to fan organizations and getting to know about the city. Heard about any protests?


In my extensive research, I found a website called Manchester Buccaneers. I think it's a spoof. At least I hope so. There is also this game designed by a Man U fan.


In this morning's Republic, there was a story that Britney Spears may have her baby in Scottsdale. Golly, how exciting.

Why do we give a damn?

This brings up a big difference between Tucson and Phoenix. One of the reasons why so many celebs have spent time in Tucson is that we don't tend to put it on the front page when they are here. Sharon Stone used to spend a lot of time down here, for example. The media didn't pay any attention until there was a Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter, and a camera crew happened to find her volunteering.

To be fair to the Valley, I'm sure that this story was arranged by Brittney's publicity people. But then again, the Republic didn't have to publish it either.


We have been closing maternity wards, particularly at hospitals serving lower income areas. They always give the reason that there isn't demand for them, as if working class women don't have babies. By the way, I never hear about malpractice costs from the hospitals when they close the wards, only from bloviating right-wingers later.

Did you see the description of this place that Brittney is looking at? If you missed it, here is another link.

That rant is better for Rum, Romanism and Rebellion, my more popular other blog.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Monday night, during break from calculus class, I bought a soda from a vending machine. I think it was Mountain Dew. The machine spat out a Mountain Dew and a Diet Pepsi. I ended up giving the Diet Pepsi away to one of my classmates. Of course, it was a woman. I don't think I've ever met a man that drinks Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, but not Diet Pepsi.

Anyhow, I thought that getting random free sodas would be a good omen for the rest of the week. Not so. I'll have to stick with sheep entrails and comets for omens, I guess.


Actually, the class is a bit unusual because it is more than half women. In most of the math or science classes I have taken, women have been rather scarce, or even non-existent. I also have yet to have a female instructor in any of these classes.

There is one woman in the class that I prejudged. She was always way overdressed, sort of looked like Laura Flynn Boyle on The Practice. When I would ask questions in class, she would shake her head as if to say, "you again?" All of this while she sat right in front of me.

I can't remember why we started talking. Turns out, she is a civil engineer, so she dresses like a professional rather than a student because...well...she's a professional. She has a sense of humor, even though I judged her as humorless when I first saw her.

One thing worries about her though. She is getting a graduate degree but because of some weird technicality, she has to take undergraduate calculus classes. She told me that "we never use calculus in civil engineering." Um, could you please tell me which bridges you are responsible for so I can avoid them?

I never did find out why she shakes her head when I ask a question.


You people disappoint me. I pour my heart out to you but no replies. The only recent one I got was from Josep Sałaty (you like the way I disguised your identity?). I think he was half asleep when he wrote it.

I even up put a nude picture of Brandi Chastain, but still no reaction. I heard that nudity is very controversial and would generate all sorts of buzz.

All my MLS talk must have lulled y'all to sleep.


Ivanna S. Pankin of Arizona Roller Derby has sent out an official announcement:

With our 2nd Season wrapped up and a mere 4 or 5 wretched months left of
Arizona summer, we had to find trouble somewhere! So we challenged
Tucson Roller Derby's SADDLETRAMPS, the best of their best, to a game
against our TENT CITY TERRORS. Both teams, you may remember, went up
against the Texas Rollergirls last Fall, and learned a thing or two from the
experience. Now each league has several more home team games under their belts – so DON'T MISS this chance to see them go head to head!
If you think ASU versus U of A is a rivalry, try to imagine the grudge match
between TRD and AZRD – after all, we're actually FROM our respective cities!

Castle Sports Club (602)331-2582
11420 N. 19th Ave N of
Peoria,
Phoenix
Doors at 7, game at 8
Beer w/ valid ID to benefit
TCH

I haven't yet seen this at the Tucson Roller Derby site, but I've talked to a couple of them and they seem to be jazzed about this bout. The only bout I've seen this year between Tucson and Phoenix clubs was between Vice Squad and Surly Gurlies, which ended up being a blowout 102-43. So, I'm expecting this one to be, I dunno, U of A vs ASU basketball rather than football.

This Saturday is the TRD benefit carwash at the Sonic Drive-In near 12th and Valencia. Come by and then you can visit with my grandmother, who lives about three blocks away.

UPDATE: The location of the carwash has been changed to: 1001 W. Grant (next to Bladeworld)


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Here's what's nice about rooting for the New England Revolution this season: yesterday they turned in a disappointing and inert performance, and they still won 4-2 against the MetroStars.

Midfielder José Carlos Cancela Duran put the Revs on the board early, putting the bulge in the onion bag in the 22nd second (Happy Birthday José!). That wasn't minute, second. As is the case with so many goals that get scored so quickly, this had absoulutely nothing to do with the way the team played afterward.

Cancela's goal got the crowd to their feet and New England managed to turn in a completely mopish fourty-five minutes of soccer. Coach Steve Nicol said durring a "coaches corner" segment in the middle of a half that his team was lucky to be sitting on a lead when they were playing that badly. The camera focused on Cancela as he left the field at the half, and it was obvious that even he was disappointed in his performance. Cancela and Brazillian Cássio were replaced for the second half.

The MetroStars continued to outplay the Revs well into the second half, scoring two goals in the process. Things turned around when Jay Heaps managed a suprising header that scored in the 72nd minute. In the 86th minute, Jeff Parke looked to the referee for a whistle and Steve Ralston stripped the ball from him and scored, putting the Revs back in the lead.

As if this wasn't enough, Zach Wells apparently forgot that he isn't Franz Beckenbauer and he isn't playing sweeper. He was wandering around somewhere outside the penalty area when Pat Noonan got the ball and scored on one of those 40 yard shots that never work.

Former Playgirl model Shep Messing did the TV commentary for the game and noted that all four Rev goals were from Metro mistakes, as if that made the Revs a lesser team. Messing, who actually did play 'keeper behind a sweeper named Beckenbauer, should know that goals often come from defensive errors. It's not just that the Metros made mistakes, it's that the Revs were a good enough team to capitalize. I realize that he is paid to say good things about the Metros, but he should give credit where credit is due.

Messing made another dumb-ass comment, but I just don't have room to talk about it.


The Los Angeles Galaxy travelled to San José to play against the Earthquakes for the first time this season. This marked the first time that Landon Donovan has played in San José since ditching the team.

At the end of last season, Donovan left the Earthquakes to rejoin his old German team, Bayer Leverkusen. He ended up playing about as many minutes for them as I played for the Tucson Amigos. His ego bruised, he returned to the US and joined the Los Angeles Galaxy. San José fans may have been disappointed, but Donovan then told reporters how he was finally "home" and said things that were interpreted as insulting to Earthquakes fans.

The San José fans decided to give Donovan a great welcome. He was booed durring the introductions, booed when he did throw ins, booed when he did corner kicks, in fact, booed everytime he touched the ball. They could have booed him more often, but for huge swaths of the game Donovan disappeared. Donovan is a goal-poacher, such players will often disappear since they don't even like going back to midfield for fear that someone else could score. He was even more absent than usual though. Brandi Chastain commented that he was lulling the Earthquakes so he could suprise them later. Brandi, he was playing lazily, you should know better than to give him any credit. (More on her later)

(Special kudos to the fan that made the sign "Prima Donovan")

Chastain's comments were only one part of the larger Donovan-worship that seems to plague ESPN's coverage of the MLS. Even after it was obvious that Donovan was having no measurable impact on the game, J. P. Dellacamara continued to talk about how Donovan was putting on a performance to impress fans of his old team...blah...blah...blah. Maybe all of this sunshine pumped up his butt is the reason why Donovan has become such an arrogant jerk, an often will turn in a listless performance like this game.

Donovan has become infamous among fans as someone who is less than friendly to admirers and autograph seekers, this may be part of his problem. I went to the 1999 Open Cup final, when the Revs were playing the Galaxy. Alexi Lalas had been traded from New England a couple of seasons before, so when Lalas was on the field, we would shout "Revolution Reject" in unison. After the game, he came over to our section, and greeted us with "My People!" Lalas actually enjoyed being with the fans, and the fans loved that. He also didn't trash the team when he left either. I don't get the sense from Donovan that he likes the fans. He likes the press though.

San José won the game 3-0, after two bizarre defensive mistakes by the Galaxy. Donovan, the forward and goal scoring king, had no shots on goal.

Donovan could become the new Tab Ramos: the national team "star" who doesn't think he needs to perform for his club team.


Women's National Team Coach Greg Ryan informed Brandi Chastain this week that her services were no longer needed for the team. This leaves Kristine Lilly as the last of the so-called fab five to remain on the team. I would like to have seen Ryan handle this differently, given what Chastain has done for the team and women's soccer. Perhaps Ryan is trying to avoid what April Heinrichs was criticized for. Heinrichs was seen as someone that was too dependent on the heroines of the 1999 world cup, and didn't look to the WUSA for possible up and coming players. She could have done what Bruce Arena has done with the Men's team and use club standouts in occasional non-crucial games to see how they would perform. This has given Arena a solid pool of players, and while the men's team is not going to win a world cup, they are serious contenders in other tournaments. Heinrichs managed to get the women bounced out of the 2003 cup early (at home, even!) and now the WUSA is gone.

It has been pointed out that Chastain would be 39 at the time of the next world cup. Yes, she probably would not have been playing there. But having her in an occasional qualifier or friendly would have been valuable for the younger players on the team. Ryan missed a great opporitunity to have his team members learn from her. Many fans of the women's team will also be disappointed that we will not be able to see what Chastain will do at the 2007 cup to outdo her famous goal celebration. Not me, of course, I only admire her as a player.

The retooled US plays Canada today on the Duce.

Every night at Surly Wench, you are guaranteed to hear the song "Where Is My Mind" by the Pixies. Sometimes, you can hear it a couple of times. Gets a bit irritating. I think this may actually make the employees there hate the Pixies. Last night, I went to the jukebox and picked "River Euphrates" just to see if other songs from the same album would play.

It played.

Hey, nice song guys. A great band too. I know it was your favorite back when you were listening to that wonderful first year of KAMP, but 1989 is over. Move on.


The jukebox at the Hotel Congress taproom used to have The Fall's "Totally Wired." I put a quarter in and picked it just about everytime I was in there. This may have something to do with why it is not in there anymore.

Che's used to have the King Crimson album Lark's Tongues in Aspic. I'm not sure what sort of sickness prompted this, but I hope the person got help. The night I discovered it was in there was after I waited for a woman who put five dollars in and was only requesting soul and funk songs from the 1970's. I can't remember how long I was there after finally making my selections, but the King Crimson song never came up. The album has since been removed from the machine.


Once, I was at Click's Billiards and somebody that isn't yet over high school picked every song from Dark Side of the Moon in order. After two or three songs, I realized what was happening. I noted it to the guy I was with and he said, "but it's a great album." I hope it wasn't him that did it.

If you need to hear the whole album, you can go home and put it on. I know you have it. You probably played it once today already.

What bummed me out is it meant I had to wait more than a half hour before the songs I had paid for to come on.


Well, I know some friend of mine that loves the Pixies will think that somehow I slighted the band...I didn't so quit complaining.

Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Okay, that actually is not an Onion headline. It is a headline from the Associated Press. Read more about it here.


James Hudson was a bit tweaked about my snarky report about his site. I've known James for a couple of years, and we both worked at AOL, although not at the same time. If I can't be snarky with him, who can I be snarky with? Anyhow, I've added his site, Tucson Scene, to my "Music that Doesn't Suck" list. Check it out.


I was reminded of a sketch from an old show called Almost Live when I heard about this one. Apparently, there was a biotech conference and 250 protesters showed up. Everything seemed to be going fine, until 500 skateboarders showed up for their own, totally unrelated protest. The ensuing silliness resulted in the death of one police officer (from a heart attack).

There used to be a series of sketches on the Seattle based comedy show Almost Live that were supposed to be episodes of Cops in various Seattle suburbs. One was in sort of a granola suburb and the cop was supposed to keep petition passers on their own corners:

"'Stop Animal Testing' on this corner, 'Nuclear Freeze' across the street, you know that's what we agreed to."

The Revs begin their second winning streak of the season with a 3-1 victory over Columbus. Hey, in previous seasons, a single win would have been a streak. I was in class at the time and forgot to set the VCR. Darnit.


Game 7 of the NBA finals is tonight. Geez. Didn't the regular season end, I dunno, two months ago? And people wonder why I watch soccer. The only thing more ridiculous about the NBA finals going so long is that the NFL pre-season will start in a couple of weeks. Yeah, those Tempe Glendale Cardinals love to play in all those pads when it is 103°.

So, do I care who wins? Not really. I was for San Antonio when Sean Elliot played for them. I know that if they win, a certain Sanantonioense I know will be insufferable...


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

(NB - An anonymous fan correctly pointed out that the Cardinals no longer play in Tempe. I have corrected my grevious error.)

After the Calexico show last week, where they covered a Bobby Fuller Four song, I decided to pop in my Bobby Fuller Four Boxed Set and listen to them again. The only song of theirs that most people remember is "I Fought the Law." That, plus the bizarre circumstances of Bobby Fuller's death, leads people to believe they were some sort of tough guy band. Actually, most of what they did were strong pop songs about love and lonliness. They didn't write "I Fought the Law," it was written, oddly enough, by fellow Texan and former Cricket Sonny Curtis. I say "oddly" because the other song he wrote that you have heard is the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

The song that Calexico covered is "Let Her Dance." My brother thought that this was a Del Shannon song. At some really basic level, yeah, Bobby Fuller Four is part of that same mid-sixties pop-rock axis as Del Shannon. But the songs are very different, Shannon's songs tended to be more bitter. For example, "Let Her Dance" is one of these "you are with another guy now, I'm sad but I want you to be happy..." songs. Del wouldn't have dreamed of writing a song like that. His songs are like "Hats Off To Larry" or "So Long Baby." Here's a sample of the latter song:

I hear you laughing
And you're telling everyone in town
That you made a fool of me
Well go on talk some more
'Cause baby I don't care no more
You don't bother me at all

'Cause, I've got news for you
I was untrue too
And I don't care what you say
So long baby
Be on your way

A far cry from the Bobby Fuller song:

Let her dance with him all night long
Let her dance to our favorite song
Let her dance with him all night long

Interestingly enough, the song that Calexico did was used for an ad for Gallenkamp shoes. Can you imagine a band letting their song be used in a shoe ad?



A fellow calling himself Don Kiyoti (I don't think that's his real name...) has posted pictures of Saturday's Roller Derby bout. You can access them on his web page. The pictures on the TRD site are copyrighted and not downloadable.

Next time, I'm bringing my own camera.


But, back to the subject of songs used in commercials. I wrote before about songs that may or may not be appropriate for some ads. Boston Market has started using the Reverend Horton Heat song "Eat Steak." I love the song, but there is a verse that I dare them to use on the commercial:

Look at all the cows in the slaughterhouse yard
Gotta hit'em in the head, gotta hit'em real hard
First you gotta clean'em then the butcher cuts'em up
Throws it on a scale throws an eyeball in a cup

Naw, they'll never do it. Maybe if they bring back Olbermann...


Another song that seems to be showing up often is Liz Phair's "Extraordinary." I think that the people who are picking it thinks it's a good "girl power" anthem (it was used by the WNBA last year). A quick check of the lyrics shows it to be in an uncomfortable place: somewhere between "without you I'm nothing" and stalking:

You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me

Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Reminds me of those pinheads that think that "Every Breath You Take" and "The One I Love" are great wedding songs.


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

Maritza López claims that her blog is better than mine and I talk about people and things she's never heard of. She keeps coming back though, so I don't know what the problem is. Besides, I know she kept looking at the picture of Freddy Adu from a few days back.

I'd invite y'all to make a comparison of this blog versus hers...but she won't give me the address. You, my adoring public, can draw your own conclusions.


This is the second really hot weekend. That means everybody left town. Roller Derby had a lighter than usual turn-out, and my church was half-empty yesterday. Tucsonenses always forget just how bad it gets, we figure no big deal, 100°, 105° what's the difference? Then the first 105° weekend hits and roundabout 11:00 AM Saturday we are planning our next weekend in the Chiricahuas, or maybe even Queen Maud Land. We can handle 100°, it is a dry heat after all. 105° is that barrier between, "yeah, it's real hot" and "what the hell am I doing here?"


I arrived at the Surly Wench last night just in time to walk in on some sort of incident. There was a guy out front with a kitten crawling on his shoulder and some guy arguing with him. The bouncer and one other employee were standing near by. I couldn't figure out what was up. I mean, something was up, but heck if I knew.

Apparently, the man had the kitten in his fanny pack. He would let it out, it would look dazed and cough a lot. People, including one of the bartenders, confronted him about this. Then, the guy got thrown out and people were still bugging him about abusing this cat. They guy started claiming that he was being threatened and that someone pulled a knife on him. When it was obvious that the guy has a screw loose, the police were called.

Six patrol cars. I counted them. Six patrol cars arrived to apprehend this one guy. Well, I don't know what the caller said to the dispatcher. Also, it may not have been a busy night, see above. The owner of the Surly Wench was glad that the patrol cars parked themselves in front of the Food Conspiracy rather than her bar. The man was arrested.

No word on the cat.


Despite all the weirdness (and gettin' spanked at pool, AGAIN!), there was a band playing at the Wench last night. The Little Morts, despite their lame name, were an amazing rockabillish-alt-country-blues-whatever band. I couldn't find their website, though they said they had one. They will be playing a bunch of times over the next few weeks. They will also be returning to the Wench on the 15th with another remarkable band, the Wyatts. It is supposed to be some sort of alt-country night. I was told that you can get in free if you wear a cowboy hat. I was unable to confirm this at press time...

Of course, considering Jezebelle's reaction last time I wore a cowboy hat to the Wench, I may just pay the cover...


Did you make it this far, Maritza?


Do zobaczenia. Hasta la proxima.

New England finally lost a game yesterday, unfortunately it was to DC United. I watched it on the Direct Kick service, which showed the local Washington coverage of the game. The commentators were former Kansas City 'keeper Garth Lagerway and some guy that was a total tool. I know that Bobby Boswell scored the game winning goal for DC against Chicago on Wednesday, because they said that about a dozen times in the first ten minutes. Some of these sportscasters love to hear their voices so much, they have to say something, even if its repeating what they already said. The guy that trained me for student radio called these "crutches." When you can't think of anything worthwhile to say, you fill the space by yet again mentioning that Bobby Boswell scored the game winning goal on Wednesday. They harped on this as well as saying "They are the greatest team on the continent", yeah, tell that to Saprissa.

The first half was very disappointing. When I checked the roster, I saw that former Dandy Town forward Khano Smith started. This suprised me. I saw a rather tall guy with a jersey that said "Smith", but he didn't seem to play like the Khano Smith I was so impressed by in the last few games. In fact, the whole offense was a disappointment. So many times, one guy would be up front and make a shot that would get blocked, and there would be no one there to get that second shot. The forwards and midfielders stood around and watched when someone would break away. (You know, Champions DC United won on a game winning goal from Bobby Boswell on Wednesday.)

I don't fault the defense at all. Jay Heaps had a great attempt at a save early in the first half. If he'd been successful, it would have been a very different game. Matt Reis got shelled, but performed admirably. The defense wouldn't have had to do all this if the midfielders and forwards could, I dunno, hold the ball for more than two passes.

Avery John did not play. Some fans point out that the Revs win when Joey Franchino is on the bench. It seems to me that they struggle when John doesn't play. John provides some important stability and distribution from the midfield. He also is capable of scoring goals. All of this would have been helpful yesterday.

The Rev's 12 game unbeaten streak is tied for third longest in the league, the longest being the Los Angeles Galaxy's 15 game streak from September of 1997 to May of 1998. The Revs are only one game back of the Galaxy's best start of thirteen winning games in 1996. This was before ties were allowed in the league. It's helpful to point out that the Gals lost the final that year to DC United, who lost their first four games. (DC United also won on Wednesday, thanks to a game winning goal from Bobby Boswell.)


One team that seems to have no trouble winning over and over again is the Furious Truckstop Waitresses. They had a match against Iron Curtain last night and won by a comfortable margin. IC had three new skaters, Raya Doom, Bolshe Vixen and Mandi Festo. All three had speed, but it takes a bit more than that to get by ruthless FTW blocker Jezebelle and pivot Deadlock Doe. Mandi Festo, who was in her first match, had trouble getting by staying up on her skates. Bolshe Vixen was very impressive, she'll be a thorn in the sides of the other teams soon enough. Raya Doom was good too, although she bears an uncanny resemblance to Dirty Terri from the Vice Squad.

One strange incident happened durring the last jam in the second period. The FTW had called a time out, but their jammer was sent out for a penalty just before the time out. So FTW played the jam without a jammer, meaning they couldn't score. Probably because they had no jammer to protect, they could concentrate on making it impossible for IC's jammer to score on that jam either.

The match got pretty ugly during the second period. Much of the wrath from FTW's skaters seemed to be directed at IC Captain Doris Badenov. Even Sassy Sue got into a fight. Sue?

The victory of the FTW was impressive, much like Bobby Boswell's game winning goal against Chicago on Wednesday.

There may be a Saddletramps game up in Phoenix next month...TPMP will keep you posted!


Interesting bit on the Fall's website. It's a letter from front man and Manchester's Greatest Citizen, Mark E. Smith to Rob Ayling of Voiceprint Records. Voiceprint handles the redistribution of the Fall's early albums, and they have a rather bizarre relationship with Smith. My favorite line from the letter:

The idiotic releases he suckered you into are beyond my comprehension. (And its stupid artwork)

I have modeled all my rants after this man's. But I'll never rant the way Chicago goalkeeper Zach Thornton did when Bobby Boswell scored the game winning goal on Wednesday.


And now for a follow-up to my post about Tuesday's show at Plush: The Tucson Weekly ran articles in Thusday's issue about both Calexico and The Sweat Band. It was part of a spread on winners of the TAMMIES awards.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.