Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

I ran across an archive of ads that appeared in comic books. You can find famous ads for Sea Monkeys, Charles Atlas and the GI Joe Club.

They have one of my personal favorites, an ad for Spalding that ran for years in the 1970's called "Street Ball," which "starred" Rick Barry and Dr. J.

The Doctor is correct, those vinyl balls are too slick. It's knowledge like that that earned him that PhD.

They don't seem to have any of the Hostess ads where a character such as Spiderman or Green Lantern would battle a some criminal mastermind by throwing him delicious Hostess snacks. The nefarious criminal would get distracted enjoying the cupcakes or whatever and would get captured. I guess it was easier than, I dunno, actually using those super powers. Makes you wonder why Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor was ever that much of a problem. I mean, they could have gotten some second rater like Cannonball or Blue Beetle to just throw the guy some Twinkies, right?


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Happy birthday to Scottish actor Robbie Coltrane, who is 56 today. Most of y'all know him from his role as Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies, a role he only took after the urging of his son. I know him from his frequent appearances on British comedy programs (programmes?) like The Young Ones and The Comic Strip Presents..., as well as movies such as Nuns on the Run and The Pope Must Die (is there a theme there?) He also starred in the excellent (and often disturbing) British detective series Cracker, where he played a gambling and drinking addicted psychologist named Dr. Eddie "Fitz" Fitzgerald.


Some samples from Cracker:

Fitz: So - you don't drink, you don't smoke, and you don't gamble. What do you do then? C'mon Michael, there must be something for you to confess! A little wank on the sofa during Baywatch isn't a mortal sin!

or...

D. S. Jane "Panhandle" Penhaligon: To be left at the airport, Fitz, that's one thing. But to be left by a big, fat, egocentric, middle-aged man, well, that's a different thing altogether.
Fitz: I didn't mind the big.

or...

Fitz: Gamblers Anonymous? That's created by wankers, for wankers!
Judith Fitzgerald: Graham is the leader in the local chapter.
Fitz: I rest my case.

or...

Fitz: It's really very sad - see, I'm a psychologist, and she's one of my patients.
Judith: I'm NOT your patient, Fitz! I'm your wife!
Fitz: Oh yeah! Hi there - didn't recognize you without your straight jacket!

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

One of my co-workers, Carlos Valenzuela, had his truck stolen on Sunday. Yesterday, he got a call stating that his truck was found.

It turns out that the truck was one of two being used by coyotes that were involved in a high speed chase. Somehow, they were able to pack eighteen...eighteen! migrants into his Dodge Ram.

Carlos is eager to point out that the other truck, a Ford, was quickly caught. His, however, was only caught later after a helicopter had been called and there was an additional 45 minute chase.

Yes, it's got a hemi.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Science fiction great Stanisław Lem has died at the age of 85 (English translation here.) He is the most widely read Polish writer in the world. His greatest novel, Solaris, was called Crime and Punishment in space. The novel was short compared to some "space opera," but was also incredibly complex. It even had some subtle satirical elements that were often missed by readers.

The recent movie adaptation staring George Clooney ended up being misunderstood too, even though it had to focus only on a few aspects of the book. Most reviewers thought it was just a "love story in space," a preconception fueled by a misleading ad campaign. There was also an earlier Russian version released in 1972.

Lem had little regard for most science fiction, and he termed himself a "philisophical writer." Some think that his attitude toward the genre may come from poorly translated novels that he read in his youth. Apparently, he liked Philip K. Dick though.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I heard about this guy Matisyahu a couple of weeks ago. He's a Hasidic Jew who sings Reggae. When you think about it, it really shouldn't be too much of a stretch. Rastafarians revere the Old Testament prophets, have strict dietary laws defined by Leviticus and even occasionally use a Star of David as a symbol. He started singing reggae at his yeshiva while doing Jamaican dance hall style toasts for his fellow students; apparently he doesn't see much of a jump between Jewish liturgical music and what he listened to in his pre-conversion days.

For the most part he has been well reviewed, although the first article I read about him was a rather dismissive review in Slate magazine. I found the author's accusation of "minstrelsy" unfair. It would only be minstrelsy if the guy only dressed that way to get attention. He dresses that way because it's his religion, not because he thinks it's a cool costume.

The reviewer also is a bit too dismissive of the quality of the music. I'm not exactly the best person to judge good or bad reggae, but buddies of mine who listen to a lot more of it seem to like this guy. She also takes him on for the naïve, feel good politics and theology in his lyrics. Well, duh, it's reggae.


When I heard about Matisyahu, I remembered a story I heard on This American Life a couple of years ago: the story of Curly Oxide.

Like Matisyahu, Oxide was a Hasidic Jew, but instead of reggae, he fell in with psychadelic/punk/alternative rocker Vic Thrill. Oxide was remarkably prolific, and would fill Thrill's answering machine with song ideas, and wound up playing with his band. Eventually, the pull of Oxide's religion took him away from the scene.

The full story of Curly Oxide can be heard here (program description here). It starts about ten minutes into the show, and lasts about 40 minutes. There is a movie scheduled for release next year with Oxide being played by Sacha Baron Cohen.


The reporter that did the This American Life piece was David Segal, a reporter with the Washington Post. Segal has a website called Jews Rock, which details the Jewish history of rock. The "Challah Fame" includes famous examples such as Paul Simon, Bob Dylan and Brian Epstein, more obscure examples such as Elastica's Justine Frischmann and Sleater-Kinney's Carrie Brownstein, and stretches of logic such as Courtney Love. They also include Cass Elliot, who they note had a rather odd death for a Jewish girl.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Hands up, how many of you want there to be an encounter between Vice President Bob Russell and Vinick campaign aide Bob Meyer?

Hmm, Bob, we are going to need some more space, so we are moving you to the basement...

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

The red-haired gentleman who was born Panayotis Alexander Lalas made the decision last week that those obnoxious plastic horns will not be sold at Giants Stadium during New York Red Bulls games.

Lalas said:

For too long, we have ignored the passionate pleas of our fans to do away with the horns in our stadium. The maddening cacophony that is the hallmark of these instruments of the devil has been detrimental to our sport. Many fans have experienced the debilitating effects that can result from prolonged exposure to a horn. Therefore, from this day forth, let it be known that plastic horns will not be sold at Red Bulls games. We encourage our fans to make noise the old fashioned way: Clap you hands, stomp your feet or scream at the top of your lungs.

Maybe I should give the folks at McKale the press release.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Bakersfield Country...I'm sorry, American Music great, Buck Owens has died at the age of 76. Owens was very much in the tradition of Hank Williams: simple (and often sad) songs about regular folks and their everyday problems. The over-produced treakle that has been realeased by Nashville the last decade or so frustrated him as much as it does folks like me.



Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

So, I was watching the Edmonton Rush vs. the Calgary Roughnecks lacrosse game. I really didn't want to watch basketball, and it was better than thinking. I noticed that Edmonton had a player named Kerry Susheski, which sounded like Krzyzewski. Anyway, Tony Cani calls me up and we are talking about whatever.

Just then Tony says, "Hey, Duke is about to lose." At that moment, this guy Susheski gets bodychecked hard enough that his helmet gets taken off and he ends up in a heap on the ground.

Coincidence? No, just proof that God is tired of Duke too.


Another interesting name: if Shelden Williams traded the "de" for a "to," he'd be Shelton Williams and could now tour as Hank Williams III.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

A post on Fallnet today:

Don't quote me boy, cuz' I ain't said s***....but here are some provisional US tour dates for Manchester's mightiest...

As always, don't file for extended leave vacation time based on any of
this info....

Tues. / May 2nd Austin, TX Stubb's Small Room
Thurs. / May 4th Dallas, TX Gypsy Tea Room
Fri. / May 5th El Paso , TX Devil Bar
Sat. / May 6th Tucson, AZ Rialto Theatre
Sun. / May 7th Phoenix, AZ Scene is Dead Concerts
Tues. / May 9th San Diego, CA House of Blues
Thurs. / May 11th Anaheim, CA House of Blues
Sat. / May 13th Los Angeles, CA Knitting Factory
Sun. / May 14th San Francisco, CA The Independent
Tues. / May 16th Portland, OR True West
Thurs. / May 18th Seattle, WA El Corazon
Sat. / May 20th Vancouver, BC Richards @ Richards
Mon. / May 22nd Edmonton, Alberta Starlite Room
Tues. / May 23rd Calgary, Alberta Warhouse
Thurs. / May 25th Salt Lake City, UT The Depot
Sat. / May 27th Denver, CO Bender's Tavern
Tues. / May 30th Chicago, IL House of Blues
Thurs. / Jun. 1st Ny, Ny Knitting Factory

The Fall at the Rialto! There is nothing on either the official Fall website or the formerly-official-but-now-unofficial Fall website to confirm this.


Someone will argue about the characterization of the Fall as "Manchester's Mightiest." An argument can be made for the Buzzcocks. Natalie Luna would say that it is the Smiths. My brother Tom would say Freddie and the Dreamers. Prairie Clayton would say Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, even though she probably hates him.

Elizabeth Rogers would then chime in and say she hadn't heard of any of them.


We who are fans are a bit apprehensive. The Fall's west coast tours are notorious for getting cancelled. They had two previous appearances scheduled in Tucson. One at Hotel Congress in 2002 was cancelled a few weeks prior when the band couldn't secure visas (no one could secure a visa in 2002). An appearance in 2004 at Plush was cancelled the morning of the show. Their previous show was two days before in Houston, and Mark E. Smith had hooked up with some buddies and gone on some sort of bender. That tour was a bit of a disaster, with Smith doing most shows either from crutches or sitting because of some injuries.


The last show I saw at the Rialto was the Hotel Congress Anniversary, I think that night I saw the River Roses and Green on Red.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Local musician Greg Pettix called one of his early bands Shatner. The band went through other permutations as the Blink Dogs and Swayze. He was later in the Weird Lovemakers. I can't remember if he was a member of Really Bad Sunburn or not.


The early Priceline.com ads that featured Shatner playing with a band included Ben Folds and Carrie Brownstein. I'm full of all sorts of information.

You can also check out this ad that Shatner did for the Commodore VIC-20, "The Wonder Computer of the 80's."


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I found out while watching Countdown yesterday that it was Ray Goulding's birthday yesterday. I knew that Keith Olberman was a fan of Bob and Ray, since he cribbed his sign-off from them. Goulding would be 84 today.

For those who are curious, Bob Elliot is still alive, and appearing in movies with his son Chris, usually playing his father.

I would like to remind you all that the komodo dragon lives on the islands of the lesser Sunda chain, as well as Java, Sumatra and Borneo...


Olberman also pointed out that Carl Reiner was born on the same day as Goulding. If this isn't a sign that God wants us to laugh, I don't know what is.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Yesterday was the first day of Spring, but it was also the first appreciable snow on Mt. Lemmon. How on earth does that work?


I think it was in 1997 that we had one of the mildest winters ever. I remember opening up my closet in February and realizing that I hadn't worn my jacket yet. Then, Easter comes around and it snows.

It's not that it is hotter here, it's that the weather makes no sense whatsoever.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I was speaking to Natalie Luna the other night, and she was amused by John Lydon's refusal to show up to his own band's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. The note is available on Lydon's website, and indicates that he should not look for a second career in either diplomacy or conflict resolution.

Many rock mavens are perpetually angry that the hall even exists. (The title I used for this entry is from an article that Jimmy Gutterman wrote in Spin magazine fifteen years ago; slightly different versions of his "33 1/3 Rules of Rock and Roll" are available here and here.) I'm not so naïve to think that there have never been commercial considerations in rock. What offends me most is the anti-populist nature of it all. I don't think that there is anyone that has been inducted that shouldn't be there, 'cept maybe Aerosmith. Although the timing on some makes me wonder. I mean, I understand that you can only get inducted 25 years after your first release. But, I have to wonder why Santana, who had been eligible and deserving for years, gets inducted in 1998, right on the eve of his biggest release? Makes me wonder if there are other considerations. I mean, far be it from me to be cynical.

Who makes the selections? I don't know either. The Rock and Roll Hall's website seems to be free of this rather important information. I don't want this to be the People's Choice Awards or American Idol, but this "Star Chamber" set up just smacks of industry elitism, and doesn't have anything to do with the spirit that guides great Rock and Roll.

Many wonder how much the choices have to do with the personal tastes of Rolling Stone scribe and Hall of Fame pooh-bah Jann Wenner, who was himself convieniently inducted in 2004. Now that we are moving into a time when inductees can no longer be drawn from bands that boomers like Wenner liked when they were younger, I'll be interested to see what sort of variety we will actually have. Will hip hop pioneers such as Run-DMC and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five be inducted? What about other important New Wave bands, not just the ones that then-aging-but-still-trying-to-be-hip boomers liked such as the Talking Heads, but other important and influential ones like Joy Division and Depeche Mode?


There are two omissions that I find downright criminal: Link Wray and Wanda Jackson.

Wray invented the power chord for God's sake! The guy walked into a ballroom, played a piece of a D chord twice, and then an E. He later on wanted to recreate the sound of that room and the song in the studio, but found that he had to punch a hole in the cone of his amp to do it: the first distortion purposely recorded. When he died last year, both Bruce Springsteen (inducted 1999) and Bob Dylan (inducted 1988) opened their shows with his famous hit "Rumble" for weeks in tribute. Anyone, anyone, who plays guitar with any sort of care for what went on before worshiped this guy.

Side note: he was a Shawnee, so would be the only Native American in the hall.

Wanda Jackson! Wanda Jackson was the first female rock star, playing guitar and writing songs in an era when women in music were expected to be waifish and pretty and sing male written songs in front of better a better paid male band leader. Her style and attitude is now aped by just about every female country, rockabilly, alt-country singer around, as well as many female rock singers as well. The fact that Jackson can't make the hall just confirms in many minds that the "white boy rocker" mentality still governs "establishment rock" institutions like Wenner's Rolling Stone.

There is hope. There are online petitions for both Wray and Jackson to enter the hall. Of course, we don't know who actually picks these people, so it is difficult to have any influence. The petition for Jackson includes a note from Rock and Roll Hall inductee Elvis Costello. Both are in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame.


I understand that there are complaints from Canadians that they are unrecognized in the hall. Neil Young was inducted in 1995. Who else do they think should be in there? Gordon Lightfoot? Rush?

Well, Loverboy becomes eligible this year.


Have I been ranting too much?


I need to give them some props for recognizing people who aren't rock, but without whom most rock would be unimaginable, like Jimmie Rodgers, Hank Wiliams, Les Paul and Robert Johnson. Here are some more people who I think need to be inducted, besides Wray and Jackson:

• Freddy Fender: Latino rockers like Los Lobos and Los Lonely Boys (and wanna be Latinos like Calexico) take much of their inspiration from the former Baldemar Huerta. I've always believed that Fender was far more influential than Ritchie Valens (inducted in 2001). I saw him play ten years ago with the Texas Tornados. He would have been nearly sixty, and his worn out Harley-Davidson shirt was stretched across his considerable gut, but when he sang "Before the Next Tear Drop Falls," there wasn't a woman in that place who wouldn't have taken him right there.
• Buzzcocks: These Manchester punks were far better songwriters than the Sex Pistols ever were. Their "power pop" sound can be heard in bands like Green Day and the Click Five. Their biggest hit, "Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone That You Shouldn't Have (Ever Fallen in Love With))," has been covered by the Fine Young Cannibals (horribly!) on the Something Wild soundtrack and Pete Yorn on the Shrek 2 soundtrack.
• Lalo Guerrero: I'm a bit biased here, since he is a Tucsonense. Guerrero's influence in Latin music in general should be recognized, especially since much he did inspired folks like Carlos Santana and lesser known Hispanic rockers like El Vez.
• Love: Of course, the induction ceremony would have involve breaking vocalist Arthur Lee out of prison; Lee was an early victim of California's Three Strikes law. I can't explain how these guys are influential without actually playing them for you. If your favorite band is a bunch of paisley clad smokeheads pounding on Farfisa organs, or feedback loving popsters, you are hearing Love.
• Joy Division: They are eligible now. Without them, millions of teenaged black-clad goths would be more happy and listening to Clay Aiken.
  

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I just read that Nicholas Cage adopted the moniker "Cage" not only so people wouldn't think he was trying to live off of his uncle Francis's name, but also after one of his favorite comic book characters, Luke Cage.

My estimation of the man has just increased exponentially.

I found a rather minor actor named Daniel Rand, I have no idea if he is named for Iron Fist.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.