Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

Went to see our champion Tucson Sidewinders play against the Portland Beavers. A couple of names struck me funny.

The Beavers feature a guy named Keoni Ruth. Yeah, no pressure with that last name. He's Hawaiian. You think he could hook me up with Tasha Kai?


The Beavers also feature a pitcher named Will Startup. Will Startup actually won't start up, because he is actually a closer.

Tucson's runs, by the way, were scored by the two Venezuelans Alexander Romero, Carlos Gonzalez, with Carlos Quentin scoring in the first and the third.


I never realized what a big deal it is whether or not I write the "K" forward or backward on my scoresheet. Luckily, Laura Elías set me straight on that one.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Another lazy morning, so I'll just post this video I found on YouTube. This is the Records performing at the Knitting Factory in Los Angeles. Well, not actually The Records, since this "reunion" only includes one original member, John Wicks. It does, however, include Blondie drummer Clem Burke.

The song is "Starry Eyes," one of the best songs ever written. Yep. I said that. I don't want to argue, there's nothing to say...



Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I've been reading the stories about DMX and his dogs (It is that year, again...after all...), and I noticed a fun little fact. His name is...Earl.

That's right, tough guy from the mean streets...OG...yeah...Earl.


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To us soccer fans, there is nothing funnier than an own goal. I'm not talking about those crazy pinball games that happen in the box where the ball ends up going in after caroming off of some defender's shin guard. I'm talking about butt stupid mistakes that bring shame to a player's team and family for generations. These are common enough that all fans have a few committed to memory, but rare and precious enough to slowly drink them, like an epicurian does with a fine wine.




The worst part for Red Bulls fans is that this isn't the first time this has happened. Check this out way back from 1996 when the Red Bulls were the MetroStars and everyone had excessively ugly jerseys. The look on the then-ponytailed Meola is choice. Couple of things to remember about this: the game was tied 0-0, this happened at the very end of the game, and was the MetroStars very first home game. It also was the Revs first win. Ever since, New York fans have blamed their team's underachievement on the "Curse of Caricola."



Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

There was news this week that Jaime Moreno scored his 109th goal, putting him on top of all MLS players. So, that led me to wonder, how does he stack up with players in the history of all North American first division leagues?

Not well. Moreno's history making goal puts him solidly in 18th place. These stats come from the American Soccer History Archives.

1. Archie Stark, Bethlehem Steel - 253
2. Johnny Nelson, Brooklyn Wanderers - 223
3. Giorgio Chinaglia, New York Cosmos - 193
4. Davey Brown, New York Giants - 189
5. Bill Patterson, various teams - 152
6. Andy Stevens, New Bedford Whalers - 150
7. Jerry Best, New Bedford Whalers - 138
8. Bart McGhee, various teams - 137
9. Harold Brittain, Fall River Marksmen - 135
10. Bobby Blair, Boston Wonder Workers - 131
11. Werner Nilsen, Boston Wonder Workers - 131
12. Alan Willey, Minnesota Kicks - 129
13. Karl-Heinz Granitza, Chicago Sting - 128
14. Tommy Florie, Providence/New Befford - 126
15. Tec White, Fall River Marksmen - 124
16. Ron Futcher, Minnesota Kicks - 119
17. Bert Patenaude, Fall River Marksmen - 118
18. Jaime Moreno*, DC United - 109
19. Mike McLeavey, New Bedford Whalers - 108
20. Jason Kreis, Dallas Burn - 108
21. Herbert Carlson, New York Nationals - 107
22. Ante Razov*, Chicago Fire/Chivas USA - 104
23. Paul Child, San Jose Earthquakes - 102
24. Illja Mitic, Dallas Tornado - 101
25. Steve David, various teams - 100

Players with an asterisk are still active. Paul Child, #23 on the list, played for the San Jose Earthquakes of the NASL, rather than MLS.

The top eleven, save one, are all from ASL teams of the 20's and 30's. To be fair, these people played in an era when there most teams used only two defenders. The only non-ASL player in the top 11 is Giorgio Chinaglia, who played for the New York Cosmos of the late 1970's and early 80's. Tell you what, you put me in front of Pelé, Franz Beckenbauer and Carlos Alberto for a season, and I'll score 30 goals.

So, who are some of these other people? Archie Stark was a Scottish born striker who played for a couple of teams, but most famously for Bethlehem Steel. He was the leading scorer in the league for most of his career, scoring 67 goals in 1926 (a ridiculous number even by that league's standards).

The man that Moreno could pass given one more good season is Bert Patenaude. Patenaude not only had a remarkable career in the ASL, but played in the very first World Cup. He is officially on record (as certified by FIFA only last year) as the first player to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final, scoring three against Paraguay.


Moreno, Razov and Kreis have all played longer than any of the people on the list did at eleven seasons (that's counting Kreis's retirement shortened season this year). Many of the NASL players on the list had shorter careers here since they came over after careers in Europe. Now, there is the opposite situation with some MLS players. Brian McBride, for example, would surely be on the list had he not gone to Europe. If reckoned in terms of goals per season, the top person on the list would be Bobby Blair, who averaged 32.8 goals in four seasons. The trio from MLS only scored an average of between 9 and 10. If reckoned in goals per game, Patenaude takes all comers at .952 with Chinaglia coming up behind at .906 and Johnny Nelson at .892.


The list only includes those who have scored more than 100 goals. Jeff Cunningham and Taylor Twellman could easilly be on this list at the end of next season. MLS's top single-season goal scorer, Roy Lassiter, notched 88 during his career, putting him just behind Billy Gonzalves (91 goals).


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

This here blog is now banned from Pima County's government network. That's right. Go figure.

Well, actually, all "social networking and personal sites" are now banned. Anything with "blogspot," "typepad," or "livejournal" domains are inaccessible. If you try to go on, up pops a page that is similar to what you'd get from a porn site.

MySpace had been similarly blocked for a year. For a while, you could still get on Facebook and Friendster, but no more. Tribe seems to have been haphazardly blocked. I went on yesterday just to see what would happen. I got on, but I got the "this site is inaccessible" page when I tried to see who had been to my page. I guess they only dislike parts of Tribe.


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Once in a Lifetime: The Extraordinary Story of the New York Cosmos is now out on DVD. I rented it over at Casa Video this weekend where they have several copies. This means in a few weeks I should be able to pick up one cheap.

The movie gives a complete rundown of the Cosmos, from the early days when a couple of hundred people were watching complete unknowns play at Hofstra University to the Pelé years to the dissilution of the team brought on by the league's profligate ways, loss of the TV contract and, oddly, a turn in fortunes by Atari.

The best part is that we get to learn exactly how much of an ass Giorgio Chinaglia is. Yes, he's even worse that the worn out tubbo that trashes the US team during World Cup broadcasts.

For someone like me who only marginally lived through the period (I was seven when Pelé retired), it is suprising how many big names end up involved in this story, from Ahmet Ertegün to Henry Kissinger. Even Nelson Rockefeller, Mick Jagger and Dustin Hoffman make cameo appearances.

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Oddly enough, Max Roach died on the thirtieth anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. I was looking for either irony or serendipity there, but I can't think of any.

Roach was one of the most remarkable and innovative drummers ever. Instead of taking the supporting role of playing the hi-hat laden swing "ta-ta-ching" that probably would have given him a decent career as a drummer, he expanded his role to one of the lead instruments. His limbs would often play different rhythms that used parts of the drumkit that probably weren't meant to be played.

Drummerworld has a tribute page complete with videos for this incredible musician and activist.


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Tony Wilson died last week. Wilson was an English television personality who was a major player in the "Madchester" music scene in the 1970's and 80's. His adventures in that scene were documented in the movie 24 Hour Party People, in which he is played by Steve Coogan. Wilson himself played a bit part in the movie as a television studio technician.

Wilson hosted a program called So It Goes on Manchester-based Granada Television. After seeing the Sex Pistols at their influential show (audience members included Morrissey and Pete Shelley) at the Lesser Free Trade Hall in Manchester, he booked them for an appearance on his program. He went on to book other punk and new wave bands. After losing his program, he founded Factory records, the home of Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays (as well as Orchestral Manouevers in the Dark, but the relationship was thankfully short). He also founded a club called the Hacienda. Because of financial difficulties, he booked fewer and fewer bands and more DJ's, and inadventently invented rave culture.

(An appearance by Joy Division on his program can be found here.)

Wilson wore his hair long, which made him a "bleedin' hippie" by punk standards of the day, and also peppered his television appearances with bizarre smart alecky references. Over the last year or so, as his health deteriorated, the bands he helped make famous raised money to pay for the drugs that were being used to treat his cancer (the cost of which was not covered by the British National Health Service).

A quick perusal of YouTube videos shows a bunch of clips and tributes from admirers. BBC's Newsnight tribute is here (which shows late interviews with tony Tony who, despite illness, is in full flower. Part Two here) You can find a clip of Wilson trying to upstage the founder of ZTT Records here (that's Peter Hook next to him), another of him introducing a reunited Happy Mondays at Coachella a couple of months ago here, an interview-turned-argument with Sonic Youth here, introducing the Fall in a program called The Other Side of Midnight here. Even better, this clip is a documentary about Wilson and Factory records, which features interviews with Wilson.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

I watched this weekend as our Women's team demolished the New Zealanders. I realize that New Zealand ain't exactly like Norway or China (and China isn't like China anymore now that Sun Wen is gone), but I was encouraged by not only the scoreline but the enthusiasm of the players. This is going to be a great World Cup for us.

Near the end, Julie Foudy's complaint was that the US never laid off of the gas. She thought that holding a decent lead was good enough, and that keeping up the offensive pressure leads to defensive mistakes that would have been devastating if they were playing a better team. Point taken sort of, since New Zealand got a late penalty kick. However, as much as I love you Julie, lay off. The late game subs included several midfielders and Natasha Kai. These were all players who desperately want to be starters. "Give them a chance to prove themselves" seems to be Greg Ryan's philosophy. You don't put Kai in and ask her to hold the ball. By the way, she had the assist on the final goal.

Since the game was on ESPN, they mentioned David Beckham. It was well into the second half, but I counted three references.

Oh, and Foudy took the chance to mention Mike Burns when Abby Wambach slipped ont past the defender on the post. Poor Burns, he'll never live that down.


So, here is my chance to finally be a leering WNT fan. I was talking to my friend Prairie Rose about doing a list like this, and she said, "Have you seen the things I write about the Men's team?" So I figured, what the heck. Besides, I'm not talking about their bodies here, right?

So, here it is, my list of the sexiest names on the national team. Not judging on their looks, just the names.

• Hope Solo


• Kristine Lilly


• Cat Whitehill


• Natasha Kai

And finally, the name most likely to generate chuckles from overgrown fratboys who have their own sports talk shows: Shannon Boxx.


I watched the Los Angeles v New England game. Yep, David Beckham did not play. This led to some interesting taunts (here and here).

In a related note, DC United player Bobby Boswell took issue with ESPN's coverage of the game. He's right. The Beckham hype would be much more palatable if it didn't actually interfere with being able to see the game. Beckham stoic on the bench ain't all that interesting.


A couple of other interesting articles: My old boss Ted Leonsis takes on soccer hating commentators here. Plus, DaMarcus Beasley is apparently enduring racist taunts when his team plays in Eastern Europe.


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I am not able to summon up any hate for Coldplay. The reason: they bore me to death. I can't hate anything that really isn't all that interesting. It would be like really hating celery.

However, it looks like in one corner of the Pacific Northwest, a certain "little hippie girl" was able to generate the hate. Hippies getting violent over a band? If that isn't a reason to decriminalize marijuana now, I don't know what is.

There was karaoke involved, so that may have been the problem.


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Here is a video of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony's recent visit to Drake Middle School. My friend Karan Stewart, wife of regular poster Eric Lybeck, works at the school.



One more funny thing, Rev. John Fife, one of our more high profile Presbyterians who now writes for the Citizen, used a picture of Eric and Karan's wedding to illustrate an article on marriage earlier this week.


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So, I got roped into doing one of these surveys that radio stations do, because, heaven forbid, any of them play a song or two that someone out there may not have heard before.

I was in a room with about fifty other people. All of us in there were men, from not so young anymore (me) to middle aged. They paid us sixty bucks a piece. There were more than a few scruffy looking people that looked as though they really needed the cash. I wondered if the fact that such surveys would be stocked with desperate folks like this has any effect on the results.

They played us snippets from more than six hundred songs (our hand held computer devices kept a count) and we were supposed to rate how much we liked the song, or even if we recognized it at all.

Being that I'm one of these smart assed music mavens, I took it as the opporitunity to finally take out my frustrations on bands I am sick of, bands that are overrated by white boy rockers and bands whose fans I dislike. There were a few bands who I made a point of rating all of their songs a "1," meaning that I disliked the song:

Rolling Stones
Grateful Dead
The Doors
Eddie Money
Boston
REO Speedwagon
Styx
Pink Floyd
Aerosmith
George Thorogood & the Destroyers

Yes, I'm a complete jerk. Pink Floyd, yes, Pink Floyd. But, gosh Ted, Roger Waters is a genius. Yes, yes, I know. But that doesn't mean I am not sick of his whining, and it doesn't make the boring David Gilmore led new age band that came after his departure palatable. And Aerosmith. Everyone that has ridden in a car with me for any length of time knows my Aerosmith rule. The Stones...can't stand their fans. Can't stand songs like "Shattered" that wouldn't have made the charts had "The Greatest Rock Band (TM)" not done it. All the other bands on there are self explanatory.


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Our good friend David Beckham has confirmed that he won't be playing in the game against Toronto FC today.

Earlier this week, Dallas fans were tweaked that Beckham didn't make it over there. Well, I shouldn't say "Dallas Fans," or even "Galaxy Fans," since they were only at the game to see David Beckham. One has to wonder if he played, if they would have had the faintest idea of what the hell he was doing. I am reminded of those goofball Michael Jackson "fans" who show up everytime he is around. Are they really into his music, or just the stardom?

I suppose I would be ticked if I paid a scalper hundreds of dollars for a ticket and Becks didn't show. Of couse, it's not the league's or team's fault that scalpers were selling the tickets for so much. Dan Loney has a take on this on his blog too.

Here's the stupid part: that LA - FC Dallas game was a darn good one. Dallas came back from a four goal deficit to get back into the game. In all, eleven goals were scored, with plenty of on field outrage to make things interesting for even a casual fan, higlighted with Landon Donovan's premature throat-slash "game over" gesture. The game had all the elements that we fans love (for details, check the chapter entitled "Seven Goals and a Punch Up" in Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch.)

(Dallas fans were peeved (burned maybe?) about the gesture. Here is some reaction. Heck, the best reaction is exactly what happened, Dallas scored another goal.)


Oh, one more thing. The Houston Dynamo winning streak juggernaut was stopped yesterday by...Real Salt Lake?

Oh, now that Freddy Adu is gone, NOW they start winning.


Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Went out to East Side bar Fenderskirts to catch my friends in Mozart's Sister (who have a CD coming out next month. In addition to musical talent, Amy Muñoz has learned to repeat such facts over and over again to sell stuff.)

The crowd, as much as drunks who are watching the clock trying to see if they still have time to find who they will be waking up next to can be, were into them. They played a couple of new songs. The sound was sketchy, with two songs nearly ruined by feedback.

But, why comment on the band I liked, when it is more fun to trash the band I didn't like?

There were four bands that played. I made it just in time to see the second band pack up, and I heard a couple of their fans harrasing bar staff about how uncool it was to cut them off. With so many bands playing, I can't imagine anyone thought that a band could play a full set.

The band that was up just before Mozart's Sister was called Worm. I wasn't sure if it was Worm or Würm until I checked the Weekly's site because the curiosity was killing me.

Gad, Worm. Bands that sound like Worm are a big part of the reason that I don't listen to KFMA anymore. Talented, but plodding with wailed vocals that said "God, we are so angry and depressed." Do kids these days hear a band on the radio and say, "Wow, I want a guitar so I can bore the tar out of people!"? I don't really get it.

One song featured guitarist Steve Brookbanks on lead vocals, which I'm assuming was his composition. It wasn't uptempo, but it had a sincerity that the rest of the songs seemed to lack.

I have my own set of rock and roll rules. They haven't been officially codified like the 33 1/3 Rules of Rock and Roll, but they are nonetheless necessary and should be taught in schools nationwide. These guys violated two of my rules:

• Drummers are not lead vocalists. To anyone who says, "What about Phil Collins?", I still say, drummers are not lead vocalists.
• If you feel the need to get the crowd going with between song banter about how drunk you are or saying the word "F*ck" a lot, the songs ain't doing it, my friend.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.